Open Letter to My Single Self

Dear Single Self,

I remember thinking that a husband was going to make us happy and solve all of our problems... Don't get me wrong, Mr. Heard treats me like a Queen and brings me so much joy!!! But he can't make me happy. Happiness has always been my responsibility. Seeking my peace, my joy, my happiness has been a job independent of anyone else! And when I realized that I was the captain of my own fate, my mental health, my future, my state of mind and headed in the direction of healthier decision making, happier disposition and altogether wholeness THAT is when he came back into my life.

I had gotten to the point where being single wasn't all that bad, I just desired companionship. I had gotten to the point where friendships weren't necessary, I just appreciated community. I had gotten to the point where I could tell myself no, I just wanted someone worthy of my yes. THAT is when he came back into my life.

If you cannot say yes to yourself, work on yourself, forgive yourself, be patient with yourself, love yourself and choose yourself it does not matter who else does. Until you find peace with God and peace with yourself, you'll search for satisfaction and be utterly disappointed when it doesn't come in the form of a long term relationship, promise ring, engagement ring or wedding!

All that you need is within you.

This is a crazy season of my life. I feel like I'm living my fairy tale. I'm about to marry a handsome man of God that cooks like a master chef, prays like the pope, preaches like the bishop, kisses like a prince, teaches like the professor, and loves me like Christ loves the church. We both share a love for ministry, family and education. We are on the same page and headed in the same direction. We have relocated to Houston, Texas where he is a Senior Chaplain at one of the local hospitals and I am a Teacher in the children's ministry of the largest church in America. We're living the dream.

But, we didn't arrive to this season without seeking, sacrificing and surrendering..

1) The Seeking -- "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matthew 6:33

When you put God first and make Him the priority, everything else works out. Ultimately when we seek other things and other people first, it's because we're trusting in our own plan, our own timing and our own ideas about our future. But when you put God first, trust him, serve him, and obey him, you'll begin to trust his plan, his timing, and his ideas about your future.

I began to just seek God and pursue his plans for my life. And this year has been a record year. I started seeking God and got ordained, became youth pastor at my home church, reconnected with, dated, got engaged to and will marry my dream man all in one calendar year... Starting with one prayer at a time, "God what do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go? How can I pursue you better? How can I spend more time with you?"

But when you start seeking God, you have to understand that he's going to be found by you. And when you seek him and find him, he's going to show you some things about yourself you don't want to see and you'll discover some things about people that you don't want to know... then you have to embrace the sacrificing.

2) The Sacrificing -- "Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." - Hebrews 12:1

When you start seeking God, you realize what things you've been putting before him. When I really started seeking God harder, I realized that I idolized and idealized love and relationships too much. I had been seeking a man more than I was seeking God. I idolized success and material gain too much. I had to cut some people off, cut some subscriptions off, cut some thinking off. I had to walk away from anything that was going to get more glory than God: people, places or things. I had to lay aside every weight and every sin that was going to keep pulling me back and holding me down because I knew that God had something for me. I know that's hard to do. But, it takes one decision at a time. You make one better decision, one choice, one day at a time, one step at a time. Babies learn to walk by crawling. So crawl if you have to in the opposite direction of the thing(s) you know hold you back!!!

3) The Surrendering -- "Submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee." - James 4:7I feel like this scripture is so cliche. But it's true. When you submit to God and surrender to his plan, and resist the devil, he really will flee. Stop answering that persons calls. Don't let them keep coming into your house messing up your peace. Stop engaging in the drama. Stop posting petty stuff online. If you resist the devil, he really will flee. Embrace all that God has for you and stop giving the devil room to get in on your relationships, your mindset, your hope, your faith.

So many times we open up doors for the devil to play us. Just resist him. Blocked numbers can't call you! Submit yourself to God, his plan for your life, his love for you and watch your life change.

You can be in a totally different place 6 months from now... The goal is healthiness, wholeness, happiness, peace, tranquility... all of those things are intangible, irreplaceable and priceless but you have to be willing to SEEK, SACRIFICE & SURRENDER!!!

Love,

Soon to be Married Self aka @RevMrsHeard