Friday, November 23, 2018

Open Letter to My Single Self

Dear Single Self,

I remember thinking that a husband was going to make us happy and solve all of our problems... Don't get me wrong, Mr. Heard treats me like a Queen and brings me so much joy!!! But he can't make me happy. Happiness has always been my responsibility.  Seeking my peace, my joy, my happiness has been a job independent of anyone else! And when I realized that I was the captain of my own fate, my mental health, my future, my state of mind and headed in the direction of healthier decision making, happier disposition and altogether wholeness THAT is when he came back into my life.

I had gotten to the point where being single wasn't all that bad, I just desired companionship.  I had gotten to the point where friendships weren't necessary, I just appreciated community.  I had gotten to the point where I could tell myself no, I just wanted someone worthy of my yes.  THAT is when he came back into my life.

If you cannot say yes to yourself, work on yourself, forgive yourself, be patient with yourself, love yourself and choose yourself it does not matter who else does.  Until you find peace with God and peace with yourself, you'll search for satisfaction and be utterly disappointed when it doesn't come in the form of a long term relationship, promise ring, engagement ring or wedding!  

All that you need is within you.

This is a crazy season of my life. I feel like I'm living my fairy tale. I'm about to marry a handsome man of God that cooks like a master chef, prays like the pope, preaches like the bishop, kisses like a prince, teaches like the professor, and loves me like Christ loves the church.  We both share a love for ministry, family and education.  We are on the same page and headed in the same direction.  We have relocated to Houston, Texas where he is a Senior Chaplain at one of the local hospitals and I am a Teacher in the children's ministry of the largest church in America.  We're living the dream.

But, we didn't arrive to this season without seeking, sacrificing and surrendering..

1)  The Seeking  -- "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matthew 6:33

When you put God first and make Him the priority, everything else works out. Ultimately when we seek other things and other people first, it's because we're trusting in our own plan, our own timing and our own ideas about our future. But when you put God first, trust him, serve him, and obey him, you'll begin to trust his plan, his timing, and his ideas about your future.

I began to just seek God and pursue his plans for my life. And this year has been a record year.  I started seeking God and got ordained, became youth pastor at my home church, reconnected with, dated, got engaged to and will marry my dream man all in one calendar year... Starting with one prayer at a time, "God what do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go? How can I pursue you better?  How can I spend more time with you?"

But when you start seeking God, you have to understand that he's going to be found by you.  And when you seek him and find him, he's going to show you some things about yourself you don't want to see and you'll discover some things about people that you don't want to know... then you have to embrace the sacrificing. 

2) The Sacrificing --  "Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." - Hebrews 12:1

When you start seeking God, you realize what things you've been putting before him. When I really started seeking God harder, I realized that I idolized and idealized love and relationships too much. I had been seeking a man more than I was seeking God. I idolized success and material gain too much. I had to cut some people off, cut some subscriptions off, cut some thinking off. I had to walk away from anything that was going to get more glory than God: people, places or things. I had to lay aside every weight and every sin that was going to keep pulling me back and holding me down because I knew that God had something for me. I know that's hard to do. But, it takes one decision at a time. You make one better decision, one choice, one day at a time, one step at a time. Babies learn to walk by crawling. So crawl if you have to in the opposite direction of the thing(s) you know hold you back!!!

3) The Surrendering --  "Submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee." - James 4:7I feel like this scripture is so cliche. But it's true.  When you submit to God and surrender to his plan, and resist the devil, he really will flee.  Stop answering that persons calls. Don't let them keep coming into your house messing up your peace.  Stop engaging in the drama.  Stop posting petty stuff online.  If you resist the devil, he really will flee.  Embrace all that God has for you and stop giving the devil room to get in on your relationships, your mindset, your hope, your faith.  

So many times we open up doors for the devil to play us.  Just resist him.  Blocked numbers can't call you!  Submit yourself to God, his plan for your life, his love for you and watch your life change.  

You can be in a totally different place 6 months from now... The goal is healthiness, wholeness, happiness, peace, tranquility... all of those things are intangible, irreplaceable and priceless but you have to be willing to SEEK, SACRIFICE & SURRENDER!!! 

Love,

Soon to be Married Self aka @RevMrsHeard

Comparison Day

Some people call this Valentine’s Day! Some people jokingly call it Single’s Awareness Day! But, if we’re not careful it will become “Comparison Day” where we spend more time wishing for what we see than appreciating what is right before our eyes. It is so easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves with other people… We compare our friends to other peoples’ friends. We compare our car to others’ car. We compare our house. Our relationship. Our marriage. Our job. Our hair. Our clothes. Our ________ (you fill in the blank). You name it and we compare it! (Especially as women!!!) We compare what we see… but we don’t compare the struggle to get what we see. You don’t know what they had to go through (or still have to go through) to get and keep what they have!

Comparison so often leads us to discontentment and discouragement… especially when we look around at what other people have and we make THEIR LIVES THE STANDARD by which we choose to live! But, the truth of the matter is that life is NOT one size fits all…. People in the world can measure what fits their life by looking at each other, but, in the body of Christ, we must fix our eyes on Jesus! Jesus is the standard. Jesus determines what fits our life and what fits our future! When we are pressured to meet other’s expectations, we have to keep in mind that we are governed by a wholeeee nother set of standards. Say to them, “one size fits y’all…” but not ALL!!!

Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

No more comparison. Happy Valentine’s Day!!! Xoxo.

RLB

"The World is Ever Changing..."

I have fond memories of the song “Order My Steps.” As a youth praise dancer, we used to dance to this song. And I remember that the Mass Choir would sing it often… and Ms. Ojetta would flawlessly hit every note every time. One of my favorite lines of this song came to mind today in my quiet time when I starting meditating on Hebrews 13:8 that says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” My favorite line in that whole song is “The world is ever changing, but YOU are still the same!”

Things are always changing. Attitudes. Gas prices. Emotions. Friendships. Relationships. Dress sizes. Hair styles.

Always changing… and while those changes may not be that serious, sometimes change can be. Change like a diagnosis. A verdict. A foreclosure. A job loss. Or the loss of a loved one… These changes can be easy for some and traumatic for others. But, I stand encouraged and hoping to encourage you that even as things around us change, Jesus Christ is the same and He will not change. One song writer says, “There is no shadow of turning with thee.”

If Jesus doesn’t change, then

1) His love is unfailing – He will never get tired of loving you!
2) His faithfulness is unwavering – there’s nothing that would change God’s commitment to love and pursue His children!
3) His promises are unending – credit decisions expire, store sales will end, but God’s promises never do… if He said it, He’ll do it! There’s no expiration date on God’s promises. J

We can remain confident in God’s love, faithfulness and promises to keep us as we ride the waves of life.

Ricki

Blessed Art Thou Among Women

Today, I was reading Luke 1 and I was encouraged by Mary’s encounter with the Angel. She was in a very peculiar situation but the angel visited her and said, “Hail, thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women” (Luke 1:28).

I know it’s not Christmas season, but I think we can all be encouraged by this passage 365 days of the year... God thought enough of Mary to send an angel to her with a message. Despite the persecution she would face for being unwed and pregnant, despite what people would say about how God was using her, despite how she may have felt about it, three things were certain for her and are certain for us today:

1. You are highly favored.

2. The Lord IS with you.

3. You are blessed among women.

Sometimes God’s blessings look funny to other people. Sometimes God wants to use us to do things that we’d rather NOT do… But, there’s no place we’d really rather be than in His will for our lives.