Sometimes God Says, "No."

There is a little lady that I call my God-daughter.  Her mother was my best friend for about 3 years before she died on February 5, 2015.  I've been blessed with a close relationship with her family and still get to spend a lot of time with them.  Anyway, baby girl is like me.  She hates, and I mean despises, being told no.

Can I have candy? No.

Can I watch television a little longer? No.

Can I have this or that toy? No.

Each no is typically followed by a little bit of pouting.  She is 4 going on 40 and hates being told no.

But, there's a reason why we answered no to these questions. She wanted candy because she didn't know that her favorite meal had already been prepared for dinner.  She wanted to watch television after bedtime but we knew that she'd never get enough sleep to get up on time for school.  She wanted a new barbie, but she didn't know that her grand-mother had already ordered 12 barbies for her for Christmas.

If God always said yes when we pray, we would get whatever we want.  That may be okay with some people.    It may even be okay with us temporarily.  But we must remember that what we want has nothing on what God wants for us.   Ephesians 3:20 tells us that "God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all we could ask or even think."  Even the very best thing that you could ask of God has no comparison to His limitless possibilities in our lives.

That helps us to better understand when God says no!

God wants to bless us and keep us, prosper us and call us to higher.  He wants us to have good things... But, even good things at a bad time can become a burden or weight. A baby is a beautiful thing, a gift from God, but we don't usually want to see the baby until after he or she has spent 9 months in the womb.  Even the most anxious expecting mothers understand that that time is crucial. Time is crucial.  

When you pray, pray with understanding and submission.  Pray with an open mind and heart.  Don't pray to change God's mind or God's heart, but pray for God to change your mind and your heart. Pray because God will only tell you know when it's not time or when He just has something better.

God is trustworthy.  God is faithful.  His love for us is sure.

Matthew 7:9-11 says this, “What man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!”

God, help us today to trust your timing.  Help us not to seek only for you to say yes.  Help us to ask for your guidance and direction, submitting to your perfect timing and perfect will.   Thank you for being a God who doesn't always say yes.  Thank you for being a God who is not controlled, but in control.  Thank you for your DIVINE no.  Thank you for your DIVINE timing.  We trust you now, God.  In Jesus' name, AMEN.

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The Baby Monitor

My boyfriend and I went to one of my college professor's house for coffee and desert last Monday night.  I absolutely love this family... the Naylors.  The Naylors came to CIU officially my sophomore year (3ish years ago), although I met them that previous semester when they visited to candidate for the professorship.  I knew them from brief interactions.  But,  them coming to CIU provided many more opportunities to get to know them.  They'd have me over for dinner from time to time, I'd babysit their kids on rare occasions... And they're just such a joy to be around.

Ok, back to Monday night... Nothing happened out of the ordinary.  No strange occurrences.  But, one thing I've always noticed (that really stood out to me this visit) was the Naylors' use of baby monitors.  There was one in each or the childrens' rooms & the receivers were in a location that Mom and Dad could hear at all times. This isn't the first time I've seen the baby monitor... but, this time it struck a chord.

I'm writing this without permission, so I won't include too much detailed information.  But, let me tell you about this baby monitor...

Through this baby monitor, Dr & Mrs Naylor can hear everything that goes on in their children's rooms throughout the evening.  If one of them sneezes, they can hear.  If one of them is talking to his or herself, they can hear.  If someone is singing their self to sleep, they can hear it.  That monitor becomes their ears in the room that Mom and Dad can't be at bedtime.

I was fascinated by the proficiency of their listening skills.  From the other room, Mrs. Naylor can hear the faintest cry, "Mama!" and know exactly where it came from... (she may not get it right every time, but I haven't seen her get it wrong yet)!  Even under the sound of coffee, conversation and cheesecake, Dr. Naylor can hear the softest cry, "Daddy!"  

They're always soft cries.  The kids never yell from their bedrooms... they know they don't have to.  They know that their cries are heard the first time & no matter how long it takes Mama or Daddy, they know that help is on the way.

I know it may seem totally irrelevant to some... but, the way that has ministered to me since Monday night... oh my!  See, God hears us when we call.  We may not always see or feel Him, but we can rest assured that He is there.  We may not always sense His presence, but He's always with us.  Just like the Naylor kids, all we have to do is cry out to our Heavenly Father.  And God, just like the Naylor parents, will come when it's time.  

Wherever you are and whatever you're going through, trust and believe that God has His ears towards you.  He's listening.  He's watching.  He's moving on your behalf. God himself is everywhere at all times.  Here are some scriptures that tell me so:  

Ps. 46:1, God is our refuge and strength. A very present help in the time of trouble.

Deut. 31:6, Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

1 John 5:14, And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us.

Ps. 34:17, The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

God, help me to trust you.  Help me to rest assured that you hear me when I call.  I know that you can always hear me. I know that you are always there.  I love you, Lord. Amen.

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I Had a Dream

Last night I had a dream.
It was my best friend
and me.
We were sitting
and talking
and listening to tunes
and then at once,
it hit me.

I must cherish this time that we have.
Appreciate the here
and the now.
Enjoy these moments
that we spend together
no matter how brief,
the why,
or how.

In this dream,
I had question
I asked as I took her hand...
I put my head on her lap
& I asked her,
"Keturah, girl,
what are you doing here?"

She laughed at me
and we sat there.
Then finally she said,
"I want to be here for you
just like you were always there for me."

Then I knew it was all over.
My alarm clock sang to me
But, I'd spent time with my BFF
& that was something I did need.

So I'm awake
and back to reality
and missing you every day.
But constantly thanking God
for the moments I see you
and everything I hear you say.

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A Starbucks Mug

Today I broke my favorite Starbucks mug

I cleaned up the mess and cried.

But I didn't cry because of the cup itself

or the delicious coffee inside...

I cried because of the memories that that cup held

long talks, long classes...

Or decisions cookies preferably gingerbread or molasses...

I had a cup identical to that before 

until I dropped it on the Shortess Chapel floor

Keturah laughed at me because 

I swore to replace it because I just loved it so.

For weeks she called me Butterfingers...

That mug was the center of our jokes!

Now I feel like I'm the mug,

& I'm the thing that broke.

I could replace the cup,

12.99 at Starbucks...

But, I can't replace my friend

& that reality sucks.

That mug is me...

broken pieces,

& shattered on the floor

for everyone to see.

Everyone helping to clean the mess

No one knowing what to do next.

I prepare for Birthdays & Anniversaries,

things that made our friendship cool...

But it's the random things that 

trigger memories that just break my heart in two.

Well,

I could replace the cup,

12.99 at Starbucks...

But, I can't replace my very best friend

& that reality... sucks!

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Today, I Cried!

Today I cried
& I don't know why
Except for I'm PMSing
& two months ago my best friend died.

Today I laughed
& I started a new craft
Then I began to drown in my sorrow
& I needed a raft.

Today I cried
& the sun just shined
Except afta' while it began to set
& my emotions began to rise.

Today I laughed
& it was on your behalf
Then I came into the house
& I began to pen this draft.

Today I cried.

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Okay

Me & My Best Friend Everrrrr [RIP-02-05-15]

At times I ask the question, "Who?"

For thoughts clutter my mind

with not a soul to communicate to...

WHO?!

Then, there's always the question, "What?"

For people's expectations of me

seem entirely too hard to meet up...

WHAT?!

Occasionally I ask, "When?"

For all of this is much too much

and I don't remember signing up for this...

WHEN?!

I often pose the question, "Where?"

For everything was once figured out

but I'm not sure where to go from here...

WHERE?!

Sometimes I ask the question, "Why?"

For it summarizes my thoughts

while fully expressing my cries...

WHY?!

I usually wonder, "How?"

For this couldn't have been the best way

maybe one day, God, but why now?

HOW?!

Sometimes I have to simply say... 'Okay!'

'Okay' to the questions that won't go away...

'Okay' to the tissue wiping tears that don't fade...

'Okay' to waking up to weeping from yesterday...

'Okay' to the pain of my deepest heartbreak...

'Okay' to the silence throughout the night and the day...

'Okay' to the fact that there are things I cannot say...

'Okay' to the sadness, the anger & fray...

'Okay' to the outcome that I'll never be able to change...

'Okay' when people ask, 'How are you feeling today?'

'Okay' because most days that's the only thing to say...

'Okay' because you left us with this angel to raise...

'Okay' because it won't be like this always...

'Okay' because I've missed you since you've been away...

'Okay' because you're in my heart & there forever you will stay...

'Okay' to the things that I'll never hear you say...

'Okay' because I know I'll see you again one day!

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

Just... okay!

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The Gospel According to Beyonce

My church has Watch Night service on New Year's Eve at 10pm... after at least an hour if devotion, praise, worship and testimony, five preachers each give a five minute sermonette! This is the manuscript from mine. Idk if the recordings caught all of it, but, here goes!  I hope it blesses someone.

"What is your aspiration in life? Beyonce would say that her aspiration in life is to be happy!!!

Galations 1:10 says, "For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a slave of Christ."

In FIVE minutes I want to preach to you 'the Gospel According to Beyoncé.' Stay with me...

According to Sister Beyoncé Carter, in her newest song, Pretty Hurts, perfection is a disease of a nation.  See, perfection, by it's very nature is based on a standard.  Based on what society has already decided about what is good, you already have something in mind when I say the perfect house, car, school, job.  You have for yourself some kind of standard.  Now having standards of perfection is not a bad thing... within reason. But, I'd like to take Beyonce's side here and suggest that perfection becomes cancerous to us because instead of simply having standards that we use to become better, look better and feel better. We find standards of things that we see as perfect and we look to them and duplicate them, hoping to be feel perfect, look perfect and become perfect.  The problem with that is that we have a totally warped sense of perfection.  Instead of looking at the only One that is perfect in an attempt to be better, we look at what we think is better in an attempt to be perfect.

I have 3 things to say and then imma sit down.
1) Perfection is a people problem.
2) Jesus is the standard of perfection.
3) Looking like everyone else may please man, but it will not please God!

Let's stand in Paul's shoes... I like Paul. And let's ask the question from Galations 1:10, am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a slave of Christ. 

Beyoncé says in this song that we're tryna fix something, but we can't fix what we can't see... It's the soul that needs surgery.  We're constantly trying to perform surgery with first aid kits and we're trying to put band-aids on bullet holes... I wanna speak to your soul right now.

You can't put on make up to cover up a heart issue. You cannot use protection to fix a daddy issue. Just like you cannot take a drink or a smoke to get over anger issues.  The world says that these things are perfect, God says not so!!!

I need a few people that may have struggled with confidence and self-esteem, or perfectionism and individuality.  But you're going to go into 2014 knowing that you are fulfilled in Christ, your confidence is in Christ,  your sufficiency is in Christ, and your strength is in Christ.

I need a couple ladies that realized tonight that MAC, SEPHORA,  and ULTA can not put something on you that God has already put in you.

I need some guys that realize that a fitted cap and a pair of Jays or a three piece suit and some Tom Fords are not going to make an Image that you were already made in.  Cuz you are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God.

I need a couple people that can say for 2014 that the more you look like CHRIST, the more you are becoming the standard of perfection.

Beyoncé, in the last few seconds of this song asks us the question, "Are you happy with Yourself?" I need a few people that can say the less I compare myself to others and the more I compare myself to Christ, yes.  The less I try to please people and the more I try to please Christ, yes.  The less I respond to my feelings and the more I follow my convictions, yes.

Don't forget.
1) Perfection is a people problem.
2) Jesus is the standard of perfection.
3) Looking like everyone else may please man, but it will not please God!

That is the Gospel According to Beyoncé!"

Happy New Year!!!

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