Why are you praying?

There are situations in our lives that arise and we find ourselves at the end of our rope.

Then we decide to pray.

A little backwards, but a lot of times, that's exactly how it happens.  We don't pray until we get tired.  We don't pray until we feel overwhelmed.  We don't pray until we can't figure it out on our own.

My cat ran away.  I was upset because 5 days went by and I had not heard from her.  An acquaintance of mine found a kitten that looks similar to my cat and bought her for me.  But, my roommate and I had not lost faith that our cat (KiKi) was going to come home.  So, we sat down the night we brought the kitten (BeBe) home and prayed over her.  (Yes, I prayed over my kitten!)  And we also prayed for the Lord to keep KiKi safe until she returned home.

An hour later KiKi is downstairs meow-ing for us to let her back in.  We were so excited.  I was a little surprised.  At the fact that she came home?  At the fact that it happened soon after we prayed? At the fact that once again God answered my prayers?  All of the above.  

Then the Lord asked me these questions, so I feel led to ask each of you:

WHY ARE YOU PRAYING?

ARE YOU PRAYING OUT OF OBLIGATION OR EXPECTATION?

Ouch!  Are you praying because you know that you should probably pray about it? Or are you praying because you know beyond any doubt that God can fix this situation?

Are you praying because you know that's what Christians should do? Or are you praying because your faith is bigger than your fear of the situation?

Are you praying because it's the last option?  Or are you praying because you know for sure that it is the best option?

Why.  Are.  You.  Praying?

James 4:2-3 tells us, "You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives."

So what are your motives?  Are you just checking something off of your list?  Are you praying just to be able to say that you prayed about it?  

Don't come to God praying simply because you feel obligated to.  Yes, commitment is a good thing.  And many times, it is our commitment and obligation to please God that keeps us from giving in to our flesh and our desires... That is discipline.

However, when you kneel down to pray, ask yourself this:  Why am I praying?  Is it because you feel like you have to? Or is it because you trust and believe God is able? Is it because you have faith in Him, even faith the size of a mustard seed?  Are you praying because you trust God to answer your prayers?  Are you praying out of expectation or is it just obligation?

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Do you trust me?

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1

What promise has God made you?

Maybe He promised you that He would save your children.

Maybe He promised you that He would send your spouse.

Maybe He promised to provide in the midst of your financial hardships.

When God makes us a promise it seems as if something happens to make it seem impossible.  A financial setback that puts you in an even deeper hole.  A broken relationship with that person you just knew you were going to marry.  A call from the jailhouse saying that your child was just arrested...

Again I ask, "What promise has God made you?"

This week, the Lord promised me that this would be the last week I'd have to worry about my upcoming mission's trip... I believed Him. But, it was a foggy kind of belief.  I was then told my our mission's leader that I needed $600 more than I thought. Within 48 hours, I raised a significant amount of that!!!

It has been an emotional roller coaster.  A faith roller coaster.

It's in these moments that we remember those promises people made and failed to keep.

We remember all the people we thought we needed to make it happen.

We remember the plans that fell through...

And after we stress and worry and fuss and cry... That's usually when we remember God!

God didn't need you to make it happen.  He just wanted to use you to make it happen.  God didn't need you to choose the people that were going to bless you.  He just wanted you to receive His blessings from who ever and whenever He allowed it!!! God didn't need you to make plans.  He just wanted you to follow His plans!!!

Faith is assurance of what you don't see... Don't be discouraged if you don't see it!  Just step back and watch God do what you can't even imagine!!!  He is able.

God bless.

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I have a thing about colors...

I remember when I was growing up and my clothes were pretty... basic.  I never really had my own style.  Well, my style was whatever mom could afford or fit me from hand-me-downs.  I usually didn't think much of it.  I was just grateful for clothes to wear... I remember having one pair of jeans that I'd wear all week long and pray that none of my classmates noticed.  There were some times that I would need or want to wear a certain thing and wouldn't have it.  For example, my friends would say, "Lets all wear red tomorrow." But, I didn't have a red shirt.  Or, they'd say, "We're all wearing our boots tomorrow."  But, I didn't always have a pair of boots to wear.

I was perfectly content with what I had until I was somehow reminded of what I didn't have.

Today, I took a look at the last few selfies I posted and found myself so overwhelmingly grateful for the ability to actually have my own style.  I have a thing about animal print and colors... I love colors.  I even have my closet color coordinated because I own such a wide variety of colorful clothes.  But, for a season of my life, my closet was filled with clothes that we're fancy or colorful or cute.  Then the Lord sent an angel to me who took me shopping clothes for me all throughout high school... whatever I needed and wanted, she made sure I had.  It was nothing short of a miracle.

Until I became of age and was working enough to be able to start getting things for myself, the Lord really provided!  And would you believe that He is still providing today?  There are still people now who see something, think of me, and buy it...

And I always remember the days that I didn't have nice things...  I am so grateful.

No matter where you find yourself in this, just thank God for where you're headed. Better days are coming.  How you start doesn't have to be how you finish.  The same God that provided for me then will definitely keep providing for me!

Scriptures to meditate on:

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin..." -Zechariah 4:10

"Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him..." -Matthew 6:8

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus..." Philippians 1:6

Prayer:

"Lord, thank you for where I started and the ability to look back and see just far how you have brought me.  Thank you for your faithfulness.  And for loving me enough to provide for me even when I didn't know to ask!  When I look at where I want to be and realize that I'm not there yet, don't allow me to be in despair.  Remind me that you're still faithful and you're not finished with me.  In Jesus name, Amen."

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It Is What It Is!

There are situations that you just have to accept.  People that you just have to accept.  Circumstances that you just have to accept.

Can't change it. Can't fix it.  Can't manipulate it.  Can't erase it.

Sometimes you have to say: IT IS WHAT IT IS!

Paul says it another way... In Philippians 4:11-13, he says, "I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

Contentment isn't necessarily a natural response, especially to uncomfortable situations... Contentment is learned behavior.  Like Paul, we must LEARN how to be content regardless of how high or low things may be.

We should always be content because God will cause all things to work together for our good.

Now, I warn you... There is a difference between CONTENTMENT and SETTLING.  When you are outside of the will of God, don't get comfortable!  You may find yourself settling in less that (God's) favorable situations.  But, when you know that are exactly where God wants you to be, pray for God to give you His peace.  He will do it.  And when troubles come, you can say "IT IS WHAT IT IS!"

Scriptures to meditate on:

"All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

"For I know the plans that I have for you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." -Jeremiah 29:11

"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:7

Prayer:

"God, thank you for your peace that surpasses understanding.  Thank you for loving me in spite of me.  Thank you for having plans for me.  Even when there are situations that alarm me, you are very trustworthy.  I know that I can depend on you.  Help me to rest in your arms.  Help me to learn the art of contentment. In Jesus name, Amen."

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It's your SPRING!

     In Columbia, South Carolina last week was filled with significant amounts of rain and thunderstorms.  There were two days last week where many public schools canceled all afternoon activities and dismissed school early.  For some, including myself, it seemed to be a bit an overreaction to a stormy forecast.  There were tornado watches and warnings in effect, but that's what tornado drills are for in school, right?  For others, it seemed to be the perfect response to avoid a potentially dangerous situation.

     I had to pick my new cat up from the vet's office after my lunch break and when I was dropping her back off at home, I began to understand why many districts chose to send children home and some jobs sent their employees home...  The wind was terrible.  There was rain and hail falling from the sky in buckets.  I was praying to God that I would make it back to work safely.  But, I saw just how bad the storm was.

     On my way back to the office, my bosses were trying to reach me to tell me to stay at home, but I was closer to work than I was to home.  I made it safely and watched the storm pass from the comfort of my office building...

     Since the beginning of April, it just seems like we've gotten significantly more rain.  Then I remembered that popular phase "April showers bring May flowers! and the Lord laid some things in my spirit that I wanted to share.

1) Seasons change! Rain and storms occur when hot air and cold air come together.  Spring is the season between winter and summer.  Rain is normal in this particular season because of the change that is taking place in the atmosphere.  Maybe you're experiencing some storms in your life. But, it's okay.  It has a purpose.  God is changing things from bad to better.  From alright to awesome.  From so-so to supernatural!!!  The storm in your finances.  The storm in your marriage.  The storm of depression.  The storm of insecurity.  The storm of unsuccessful.  The storm of disappointment.  The storm of bad health.  The storm of confusion.  The storm will so bee over.  The sun is going to come out and things are going to be alright and the storms you're facing are proof that the atmosphere is changing.  Proverbs 30:5 says, "For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning."

2)  Your flowers need watering!  Marvin Sapp has a song called Place of Worship that I absolutely love.  Here are some of the lyrics:  "Go find your place of worship. Look into your pain and find your praise.  Every low place in your life prepared you for your high place and every tear you cried was water for the garden of your victory..."  The storms are coming because the rain that falls are providing nourishment for the flowers of success, flowers of faith, trees of prosperity, and grasslands of peace in your life.  Those tears you've been crying have been to provide water for the garden of your victory.

3)  The sun will shine!  I am so glad that trouble don't last always.  April showers won't last forever.  I'm not saying that there won't be any summer storms.  Because every season of life has it's own set of storms... But I am saying that overall we can expect the severest April showers to bring us beautiful May flowers.  It will be over soon.  It will be alright.  Those stormy days won't last forever.  And you'll look back and say that it was truly worth it!

God bless you!

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Natural Hair Products are OVER PRICED & OVERRATED!

Yes, I said it:  "Natural Hair Products are SO OVERRATED!"

The Natural Hair Industry is a multi-million dollar industry that is founded on the basis that products black women have been using on our hair for years and years and years are suddenly bad for us…  My mother wasn’t using Shea Moisture to grow hair down her back, she was using Pantene Pro-V.  IJS.  I’m all for more natural products, but not if it costs me an arm and a leg when it’s really not all that serious!   And if it ain't broke, don't fix it... well, unless you can make it look broken and make million dollars off of it!  

Natural Hair product junkies are often plagued with the constant search for the ‘most natural,’ and ‘most healthy’ products to use on their hair as certain things have been deemed to be bad for your hair.  I’m writing this blog post NOT AS A COSMETOLOGIST--because I am not-- but as a girl who has gone natural for the 3^rd time… but, this time, I am not wasting excessive amounts of my hard earned cash on unnecessary hair products because someone thought it was healthier!  According to Mintel, by the year 2020, women will be spending $1.4 billion on hair products, a very large portion of that number being natural hair products targeted at black women. 

Here are a few things that I think every natural sista should keep in mind:

1)  Too much of anything is bad… Moderation is key.  If you apply too much of anything to your hair, the results may not be as they were intended.  Any product.  Any formula. Any excessive use of a thing can bring more harm than good.  For example, if I apply gel to my hair every day for a week, I’ll have a caked up head of gel.  The gel will weigh down my curls and there may be product residue built up. But, it's not the gels fault... it's my fault.   I could have just wet my hair a little bit and reactivated the gel that was already on my hair OR washed my hair to prevent product build up.

2)  Know what mixes well… Like I said, too much of anything is bad.  But so is a bad combination of things.  I know  a lot of people prefer sulfate-free shampoos… but, I don’t have a problem with sulfates.  Sulfates strip your hair... but that's not a problem in moderation.  It gives you a fresh, clean slate for the products that you are going to apply.  I strip my hair clean, so that I can build it back up from the inside out.  If you never ever use a sulfate, then you could risk clogging the follicles of your hair due to product build up and that could stunt your hair’s growth.  A lot of people blame sulfates in shampoos for their lack of moisture when they just failed to moisturized their hair.  Know what mixes well.

Picture source:  Google Images 

3)  Just because a product is pricey, that doesn’t mean it’s the right product for you…  In one of the Natural Hair groups I was in on Facebook, someone posted a picture of her cabinet filled with at least $500 worth of natural hair products (maybe more).  Do you know what I can do with $500? HONEY‼!  Its. Not. Worth. It.  All those products for what?  

4)  What works for you, works for you.  You don’t need a commercial or an article to tell you whether or not something works for your hair.   It’s not about what you use, it’s about how you use it!   Yes, healthy hair is important, but no one has PERFECT hair.

5)  The time you spend reading ingredients on the Natural Hair aisle can be spent elsewhere.

6)  The money you spend on the Natural Hair aisle can also be spent elsewhere.

7)  Again, I’m no professional.  But, these are my thoughts on what works for my naturalness.

Thanks for reading!

Here are a few great articles that explain why sulfates, parabens, and silicones aren’t that bad:

Silicones: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly:  https://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/kinky-hair-type-4a/silicones-good-bad-the-ugly/

Should You Avoid Parabens? Get the Natural Hair Facts.: http://www.curlynikki.com/2015/03/should-you-avoid-parabens-get-natural.html

Ask The Experts: When is it Okay to Use Sulfates on Your Curls?: http://www.essence.com/2015/12/01/ask-experts-when-it-okay-use-sulfates-your-curls

Don't forget to connect me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter & Youtube.  :) God bless you!

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Success in Psalm 1

Have you ever seen a bicyclist pedaling down the interstate?

Have you seen a Lexus trying to drive down the sidewalk? Or use the bike lane?

Have you tried to drive a truck/bus with just a Class D driver's license?

There are all these circles I wanted to so badly to be in... There are some people I so desperately wanted to know. And many rooms I stood outside of dying to be let in. For a long time I was driven by the world's standards of progress and success (get a fine man, get a good job, live in a big house with a white picket fence, etc.).  As I was being driven by these standards of success, I found myself facing moments of depression when I realized I wasn't going to marry that fine man I had, my job wasn't going to complete me, a big house was no where in the budget, and most apartments don't come with white picket fences.

The lens that I had been using to view success had become tinted by the world... 
But this is what the Word says in Psalm 1:

1How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! 2But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in His law he meditates day and night. 3He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.  4The wicked are not so, But they are like chaff which the wind drives away. 5Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. 6For the LORD knows the way of the righteous, But the way of the wicked will perish.

God spoke to my heart and reminded me, "Girl, you have your own circle. Your own lane. Your own room. Your own zone.  I AM GOD.  I DEFINE YOUR SUCCESS."

1)  You are successful when your delight is in the WORD.
Verse 2 tells us that a man is blessed when his delight is in law of the Lord and and when he meditates on it day and night... Is it a struggle to read your Bible?  Do you find it hard to spend time with the Lord?  Or is it a delight to you?  The Lord wants us to to take delight in His word because He has already spoken a word for every situation in your life.  That's why he not only wants us to read it, but meditate on it day and night!

2)  You are successful when GOD plants you.
Other people may have plans for your life.  They may have assignments, visions, dreams for you.  However, verse 3 tells us that when we are consumed by God's word, He plants us.  He doesn't place us like other people have a tendency to.  But, He plants us.  He plants us in places where He knows we can grow and be nourished (beside streams of water).  He plants us in places where we can be fruitful.  If you aren't growing, if you aren't being nourished, if you aren't being fruitful, You should do an evaluation of your location.  Are you where GOD has planted you or where you placed myself?  Are you doing what GOD assigned for you or are you just keeping yourself busy?  Are you not being fruitful because you aren't in the right place or is this just not the right timing?

3)  You are successful when you trust God's SEASONS.
Don't rush the process, trust the process.  A flower doesn't bloom the day after the seed is planted.  A baby isn't born the day after it's conception.  Verse 3 informs us that the Lord not only plants us in places where we can be fruitful, but He times things perfectly.  Though we may be in a hurry, God understands that everything happens in its correct timing.   If you have a hard time understanding the importance of timing, talk to the mother of a pre-mature baby.  A baby born at 6 months runs the risks of having significantly more health challenges than a baby born at 7, 8, or 9 months.  Why is that?  Because timing is so important.  No matter how ready a woman may be in her 2nd trimester or beginning her 3rd, she understands the importance of delivering at full term.  Verse 3 tells us that the tree God plants will bring forth fruit IN ITS SEASON.

I said all that to say that your success isn't about what you want, it's about what God wants for your life.  The truth is God's success will far surpass what you have planned for yourself.  There are some rooms you're too big to fit in and forcing your way in will only minimize who you are.  The people who don't understand you maybe weren't meant for you in the first place or in this season.  Then there are other rooms you don't need to be in because it is not your season and you are not ready.  Everything has it's time and it's season...  a good thing at a bad time has the same toxins as a bad thing.  But when God does it, He does in such a way that everything we do will prosper (verse 3).

When God opens the door, walk in it. But, in the mean time, don't worry yourself about what you're missing.  God's timing is impeccable.  And if the door closes, praise God until the next one opens!  Don't worry yourself about the details. Don't get lost in wondering why it had to be that way or why things didn't turn out the way you expected.

Here are some additional scriptures to encourage you as you pursue God's success for your life:

• "I can do all this through him who gives me strength." - Phil. 4:13
• "Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

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